biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

robotmango:

getting food poisoning is a sick irony. sandwich, you were supposed to nourish my fragile meat body, not conspire with one section of it to kill the rest. you edible brutus, you fredo, you fucking intestinal quisling

this post shows true literary prowess but i wish i hadn’t read it while finishing my sandwich 

jokez:

im in a dd/dd relationship and we just fucking whip our bed with our belts every night before passing out 

magikofficial:

Straight people: that relatable feel when you’re trying to break in to your partner’s phone so you can read all their messages am I right

Me, a normal person: ????????

edwardsgay:

new followers listen up this blog’s purpose is to be the digital manifestation of that vine where that dude smashes through 12 different types of soda takes a drink then says “fuck you” right into the camera if that’s not what you’re here for why are you here click post

conjunxs:

you should never date someone for the sake of dating someone. you should be good friends, if not best friends with your partner. if you cant go to your partner for personal advice, if youre afraid to call your partner out on something, if you cant laugh and have fun with your partner, or if your conversations are only ever performative affection, you don’t have a good relationship

coolcatgroup:

space-lesbo:

coolcatgroup:

Reblog the Princess ™ for future happiness and mental stability. Let her cuteness cleanse you.

please princess™… i require your stability and happiness

She is listening