Pride month is coming up, so here’s a reminder that the Stonewall riots (in which trans women of color fought for us to have rights) wasn’t about marriage equality, it was about police brutality.
and that the fight for marriage equality wasn’t about being heteronormative it was about lgbt couples being able to have the same legal rights as straight couples regarding their relationship especially during the aids epidemic. it was so that lgbt people could be with their partners while they died.
An action being “punishable by a fine” basically means “legal for rich people”.
Oh wow. That’s…
This is why all fines should be income based. They should carry the EXACT same weight of punishment to anyone who commits the act. That way poor folk aren’t bankrupted into desperation or jail by a minor offense and rich people can’t get away with shit.
so apparently when my grandfather sleep talks he turns into a human numbers station because he’s chanting numbers very urgently and i feel like i’m on the verge of making contact with something not of this world
“seven… seven… seven… SEVEN… seven… seven… eight on the five… SEVEN.. SEVEN… SEVEN…”
it seems he may be making a breakthrough
he just walked out wild-eyed “I NEED TO PUT A SIX ON A SEVEN. THE NUMBERS DON’T MATCH. They match an eight…”
In case anyone wants some perspective on how utterly random triggers can be. I haven’t lived in a house with a garage door in four-ish years. Right now at this moment, I honestly can’t recall what they sound like, except something metallic moving and rather clanky.
There was one on tv. I wasn’t even paying attention to it, I had my headphones on and was actively trying to tune the show out. My ears picked up on the sound of the garage door, and a jolt of adrenaline shot through my body as I grabbed my laptop and moved to get out of my seat and run to my room.
I realized what happened after about two seconds.
The sound is gone from my ears, but my heart is still racing and I’m waiting for the door to the house to open, to hear the jingling of my mother’s keys and her footsteps moving through the house. My muscles are still tense and I’m fighting the urge to run to my room and stick a board in front of the door.
For years, the sound of a garage door was my warning to pack up what I was doing quickly and retreat to my room if I was out of it.
I can’t remember the sound of the garage door right now, but I can’t tell my brain to stop trying to react to it.
This can be reblogged, if anyone was wondering. I wrote up this post with the intention that hopefully people who read it and didn’t really get triggers would understand a bit.
So, a thing that’s particularly important here: The trigger here is not the bad experience itself.
after my super funtime medical adventure, i had to change all my bath products, because my brain had associated the scent of them with being terrified and in extreme pain.
these were products i had chosen myself because i liked the smell. and they got connected to the medical phobia because i was using them to wash off the hospital reek and the fear sweat and so forth. i don’t know why they became a trigger. maybe because washing off the hospital smell didn’t make me not in pain. maybe because their ‘fresh pine ocean breeze bluegreen spicy stuff’ smell didn’t really replace the hospital stench, just mingled with it.
but for whatever reason, smelling these objectively nice soaps made me do flashbacks and get all hopeless and wobbly. so they had to go.
triggers are random. they’re often something that was simply present during a trauma, and you can’t guess what they’ll be. no one who hasn’t heard me explain this would ever associate suave naturals ocean breeze body wash with unbearable abdominal pain. so i guess the takeaways here are twofold:
– if you have triggers, remember other people can’t predict them, and don’t expect to be protected from them all the time. that’s up to you.
– if you don’t have triggers, don’t assume you can judge what a ‘real’ trigger is, and if someone asks you to accomodate them, don’t be a dick about it. even if you don’t want to make that accomodation, decline politely and apologize, don’t disparage their request.
Reminder everybody that duckduckgo.com exists and doesn’t track you and doesn’t store your search history. This is good for counter-surveillance reasons, but it also confuses the hell out of advertisers. If you don’t like the search results you get on duckduckgo, you can always search something there and add “!g” to the end of the search and it will route the search through Google, but still will not track you. This is a really easy thing almost everybody can do to resist government surveillance and advertiser tracking.
my teacher leaving an ‘excellent work!!!’ on my essay:
me, holding a wall for support: bro i’m just…..bro i’m just really teary i’m ghjdgfsdhjfjsdhf i’m hgjggjkhfkdjgj wow thank you idk what to say….bro idk why i’m fjhdsfkjdfg crying right now
pervasive doubt 